He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
