I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
