But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
