My friends, they love my intelligence
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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