Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
