what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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