We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
