i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
