well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
