if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i already hear my dad disowning me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
