he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
