If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
