pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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