So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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