I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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