VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
