guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
