didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize