For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How drunk are you?
Completed.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
