Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Panties = found
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
