You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
