A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
