Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
