i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
