I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
