someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His hands were made for my vagina.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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