i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
