I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
