so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
