did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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