I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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