dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
