im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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