the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Randomize
