What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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