Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
