dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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