Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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