...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
