are you so shy because you have an std?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
