i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I want a musical about memes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize