You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
