singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize