Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
