nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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