Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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