If i come over, it means nothing
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just invented taco cereal.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
