Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
