It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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