i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize