I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
