"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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