Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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