Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
