well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
