Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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