...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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