Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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