my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
last night I used snow as a chaser
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
